The Illustrated Works of Shakespeare/Illustrated Works of Shakespeare, The (1990)(Animated Pixels)[!][CDTV-PC].iso/shakes/text/12/01_02

Text File | 1991-04-10 | 14KB | 380 lines

Padua. Before Hortensio's House.
 Enter PETRUCHIO and his man GRUMIO.

Petruchio    Verona, for a while I take my leave,
    To see my friends in Padua; but of all,
    My best belovd and approvd friend
    Hortensio; and I trow this is his house.
    Here, sirrah Grumio, knock, I say.

Grumio    Knock, sir? Whom should I knock? Is there any man has
    rebused your worship?

Petruchio    Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.

Grumio    Knock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should
    knock you here, sir?

Petruchio    Villain, I say, knock me at this gate;
    And rap me well, or I'll knock your knave's pate.

Grumio    My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first,
    And then I know after who comes by the worst.

Petruchio    Will it not be?
    Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll ring it;
    I'll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
                                             [He wrings him by the ears.

Grumio    Help, masters, help! My master is mad.

Petruchio    Now, knock when I bid you, sirrah villain.

                             Enter HORTENSIO.

Hortensio    How now, what's the matter! My old friend Grumio, and my
    good friend Petruchio? How do you all at Verona?

Petruchio    Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray?
    Con tutto il cuore ben trovato, may I say.

Hortensio    Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor mio
    Petruchio.
    Rise, Grumio, rise; we will compound this quarrel.

Grumio    Nay, 'tis no matter, sir, what he 'leges in Latin. If this
    be not a lawful cause for me to leave his service, look you,
    sir. He bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was
    it fit for a servant to use his master so, being, perhaps,
    for aught I see, two-and-thirty, a pip out?
    Whom would to God I had well knocked at first,
    Then had not Grumio come by the worst.

Petruchio    A senseless villain! Good Hortensio,
    I bade the rascal knock upon your gate,
    And could not get him for my heart to do it.

Grumio    Knock at the gate! O heavens! Spake you not these words
    plain "Sirrah, knock me here, rap me here, knock me well,
    and knock me soundly"? And come you now with "knocking at
    the gate"?

Petruchio    Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.

Hortensio    Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio's pledge.
    Why, this's a heavy chance 'twixt him and you,
    Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
    And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale
    Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?

Petruchio    Such wind as scatters young men through the world
    To seek their fortunes further than at home,
    Where small experience grows. But in a few,
    Signor Hortensio, thus it stands with me:
    Antonio, my father, is deceased,
    And I have thrust myself into this maze,
    Haply to wive and thrive as best I may.
    Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home,
    And so am come abroad to see the world.

Hortensio    Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee,
    And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favoured wife?
    Thou'dst thank me but a little for my counsel,
    And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich,
    And very rich: - but thou'rt too much my friend,
    And I'll not wish thee to her.

Petruchio    Signor Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we
    Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know
    One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife,
    As wealth is burden of my wooing dance,
    Be she as foul as was Florentius' love,
    As old as Sibyl, and as curst and shrewd
    As Socrates' Xanthippe, or a worse,
    She moves me not, or not removes, at least,
    Affection's edge in me, were she as rough
    As are the swelling Adriatic seas.
    I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;
    If wealthily, then happily in Padua.

Grumio    Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is.
    Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an
    aglet-baby, or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head,
    though she have as many diseases as two-and-fifty horses.
    Why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.

Hortensio    Petruchio, since we are stepped thus far in,
    I will continue that I broached in jest.
    I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
    With wealth enough, and young and beauteous,
    Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman.
    Her only fault - and that is faults enough-
    Is that she is intolerable curst
    And shrewd and froward so beyond all measure
    That, were my state far worser than it is,
    I would not wed her for a mine of gold.

Petruchio    Hortensio, peace; thou know'st not gold's effect.
    Tell me her father's name, and 'tis enough;
    For I will board her though she chide as loud
    As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.

Hortensio    Her father is Baptista Minola,
    An affable and courteous gentleman.
    Her name is Katherina Minola,
    Renowned in Padua for her scolding tongue.

Petruchio    I know her father, though I know not her;
    And he knew my deceasd father well.
    I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her,
    And therefore let me be thus bold with you
    To give you over at this first encounter,
    Unless you will accompany me thither.

Grumio    I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O'my
    word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think
    scolding would do little good upon him. She may, perhaps,
    call him half a score knaves or so - why, that's nothing; an
    he begin once, he'll rail in his rope-tricks. I'll tell you
    what, sir, an she stand him but a little, he will throw a
    figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it that she
    shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know
    him not, sir.

Hortensio    Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee,
    For in Baptista's keep my treasure is.
    He hath the jewel of my life in hold,
    His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca,
    And her withholds from me and other more,
    Suitors to her and rivals in my love,
    Supposing it a thing impossible,
    For those defects I have before rehearsed,
    That ever Katherina will be wooed.
    Therefore this order hath Baptista ta'en,
    That none shall have access unto Bianca
    Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.

Grumio    Katherine the curst!
    A title for a maid of all titles the worst.

Hortensio    Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace,
    And offer me, disguised in sober robes,
    To old Baptista as a schoolmaster
    Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca;
    That so I may, by this device, at least
    Have leave and leisure to make love to her,
    And unsuspected court her by herself.

     Enter GREMIO; and LUCENTIO disguised as a schoolmaster, Cambio,
                        with books under his arm.

Grumio    Here's no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the
    young folks lay their heads together! Master, master, look
    about you! Who goes there, ha?

Hortensio    Peace, Grumio! It is the rival of my love.
    Petruchio, stand by awhile.
                    [HORTENSIO, GRUMIO and PETRUCHIO stand aside.

Grumio    [Aside.] A proper stripling, and an amorous!

Gremio    O, very well; I have perused the note.
    Hark you, sir, I'll have them very fairly bound-
    All books of love, see that at any hand;
    And see you read no other lectures to her.
    You understand me. Over and beside
    Signor Baptista's liberality,
    I'll mend it with a largess. Take your papers too,
    And let me have them very well perfumed,
    For she is sweeter than perfume itself
    To whom they go to. What will you read to her?

Lucentio    Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you
    As for my patron, stand you so assured,
    As firmly as yourself were still in place;
    Yea, and perhaps with more successful words
    Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.

Gremio    O this learning, what a thing it is!

Grumio    [Aside.] O this woodcock, what an ass it is!

Petruchio    [Aside.] Peace, sirrah!

Hortensio    Grumio, mum! [Advancing.] God save you, Signor Gremio.

Gremio    And you are well met, Signor Hortensio.
    Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.
    I promised to enquire carefully
    About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca,
    And, by good fortune I have lighted well
    On this young man - for learning and behaviour
    Fit for her turn, well read in poetry
    And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.

Hortensio    'Tis well. And I have met a gentleman
    Hath promised me to help me to another,
    A fine musician to instruct our mistress.
    So shall I no whit be behind in duty
    To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.

Gremio    Beloved of me, and that my deeds shall prove.

Grumio    [Aside.] And that his bags shall prove.

Hortensio    Gremio, 'tis now no time to vent our love.
    Listen to me, and if you speak me fair,
    I'll tell you news indifferent good for either.
    Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,
    Upon agreement from us to his liking,
    Will undertake to woo curst Katherine,
    Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.

Gremio    So said, so done, is well.
    Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?

Petruchio    I know she is an irksome brawling scold;
    If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.

Gremio    No, sayst me so, friend? What countryman?

Petruchio    Born in Verona, old Antonio's son;
    My father dead, my fortune lives for me,
    And I do hope good days and long to see.

Gremio    O sir, such a life with such a wife were strange.
    But if you have a stomach, to't a God's name;
    You shall have me assisting you in all.
    But will you woo this wildcat?

Petruchio                                        Will I live?

Grumio    Will he woo her? Ay, or I'll hang her.

Petruchio    Why came I hither but to that intent?
    Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?
    Have I not in my time heard lions roar?
    Have I not heard the sea, puffed up with winds,
    Rage like an angry boar chafd with sweat?
    Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,
    And heaven's artillery thunder in the skies?
    Have I not in a pitchd battle heard
    Loud 'larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets' clang?
    And do you tell me of a woman's tongue,
    That gives not half so great a blow to hear
    As will a chestnut in a farmer's fire?
    Tush, tush, fear boys with bugs!

Grumio                                        For he fears none.

Gremio    Hortensio, hark.
    This gentleman is happily arrived,
    My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.

Hortensio    I promised we would be contributors,
    And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe'er.

Gremio    And so we will, provided that he win her.

Grumio    I would I were as sure of a good dinner.

               Enter TRANIO finely dressed, and BIONDELLO.

Tranio    Gentlemen, God save you! If I may be bold,
    Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way
    To the house of Signor Baptista Minola?

Biondello    He that has the two fair daughters, is't he you mean?

Tranio    Even he, Biondello.

Gremio    Hark you, sir; you mean not her too?

Tranio    Perhaps him and her, sir. What have you to do?

Petruchio    Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.

Tranio    I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let's away.

Lucentio    [Aside.] Well begun, Tranio.

Hortensio                                Sir, a word ere you go.
    Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?

Tranio    And if I be, sir, is it any offence?

Gremio    No, if without more words you will get you hence.

Tranio    Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free
    For me as for you?

Gremio                        But so is not she.

Tranio    For what reason, I beseech you?

Gremio    For this reason, if you'll know,
    That she's the choice love of Signor Gremio.

Hortensio    That she's the chosen of Signor Hortensio.

Tranio    Softly, my masters! If you be gentlemen,
    Do me this right - hear me with patience.
    Baptista is a noble gentleman
    To whom my father is not all unknown,
    And were his daughter fairer than she is
    She may more suitors have, and me for one.
    Fair Leda's daughter had a thousand wooers,
    Then well one more may fair Bianca have;
    And so she shall. Lucentio shall make one,
    Though Paris came, in hope to speed alone.

Gremio    What, this gentleman will outtalk us all!

Lucentio    Sir, give him head, I know he'll prove a jade.

Petruchio    Hortensio, to what end are all these words?

Hortensio    Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,
    Did you yet ever see Baptista's daughter?

Tranio    No, sir, but hear I do that he hath two;
    The one as famous for a scolding tongue
    As is the other for beauteous modesty.

Petruchio    Sir, sir, the first's for me, let her go by.

Gremio    Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules,
    And let it be more than Alcides' twelve.

Petruchio    Sir, understand you this of me in sooth:
    The youngest daughter, whom you hearken for,
    Her father keeps from all access of suitors,
    And will not promise her to any man
    Until the elder sister first be wed.
    The younger then is free, and not before.

Tranio    If it be so, sir, that you are the man
    Must stead us all, and me amongst the rest,
    And if you break the ice and do this feat,
    Achieve the elder, set the younger free
    For our access, whose hap shall be to have her
    Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.

Hortensio    Sir, you say well, and well you do conceive;
    And since you do profess to be a suitor,
    You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,
    To whom we all rest generally beholding.

Tranio    Sir, I shall not be slack: - in sign whereof,
    Please ye we may contrive this afternoon,
    And quaff carouses to our mistress' health,
    And do as adversaries do in law,
    Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.

Grumio &
Biondello    O excellent motion! Fellows, let's be gone.

Hortensio    The motion's good indeed, and be it so.
    Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto.
                                                        [Exeunt.